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“If someone has been raised to fill a role they don’t want to fill, are they obligated to continue it in adulthood?”
What if the life you’re living isn’t your own?What if your career, values, and lifestyle were handed to you before you were old enough to choose?
We are all born into systems:
Family expectations
Cultural scripts
Religious duties
Unspoken contracts from childhoodAnd often, we adopt roles we never consciously chose:
The heir to a family business
The obedient child of faith
The emotional caretaker for a struggling parent
The responsible sibling, the quiet daughter, the strong sonThese roles can come with comfort, reward… and guilt.
But they can also come with deep soul dissonance.In The Young Man and the Sage, Laolys was raised to enter politics, expected to follow in his father’s footsteps. But something in him called for more. After achieving his first great milestone, he walks away. He craves something more meaningful, he wants to help society in ways that his position in politics won’t allow.
The sage doesn’t judge him. Instead, he offers a different question:
What if living someone else’s dream is the real betrayal?According to Carl Jung, “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent.”
According to the sage, “A child isn’t obligated to the confines of his parents’ torch once he is an adult, and it’s selfish to ask so much of a person.”
We are here to learn the needed lessons so that we can reach a higher spiritual resonance. Taking a person away from their desired path could take them away from the lessons.
So we ask you to reflect:
What roles do you embody? How do you define yourself? Are those identities inherited… or discovered?
Share your thoughts and stories below. -
I was raised to be stable, practical, responsible. That meant get a job, keep it, retire on time. I followed that path for a while. Still do. But it’s not mine. I don’t blame my parents. They did what they knew. But that life doesn’t fit. I think a lot of people feel that and stay anyway. I’m building something different. Slowly. On my own terms. No one else needs to understand it. They’re not the ones living it.
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I was raised to work hard, keep my head down, and do the right thing. Get a good job, stay in it, don’t ask questions. That ain’t me. I still show up, pay bills, do my part but I’m not spendin my life on someone else’s plan. I got my own land now. Growin food, fixin stuff, learnin what matters. Nobody owes their whole life to an old story. You grow outta roles same as you grow outta clothes. That ain’t betrayal it’s growin up.
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This question speak deep to me. In my family, I am first son. Always I must be strong, make money, follow path they give me. I become computer programmer because is good job, safe life. But my heart, it go to other place. Since boy, I look at pattern, number, old temple. I dream of shapes, I feel meaning in stone. But this is not career, they say. This is hobby. I try to do both, but it hurt inside. One part of me follow duty, other part scream for truth. Now I start to build new path. Still keep respect, but I choose what is mine. We must live what call us.
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OMG I was supposed to be this super goody girl. I went 2 church and everything but oh did that go wrong lol. they wanted me quiet n sweet n prob married by now?? meanwhile I’m over here makin crystal wraps, doin spellwork, screamin under the full moon n blasting EDM in my kitchen. I’m soooo much happier tho. like actually breathing my own air now. roles are cute until they start chokin you. rip the script babes, write your own.
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