[NoraSpinnor]

The Tao Te Ching warns of becoming concerned with other people’s opinions, stating that getting favor often leads to complications of ego, obsession with popularity, followed by the need to perform or adjust the image to maintain favor. It is a trap that keeps one off the spiritual path, obsessed with material pursuits and endeavors that give no fruit (impressing others).

The quote goes as follows:
“After the enjoyment of favor, the getting of that favor leads to the apprehension of losing it, and the losing of it leads to the fear of still greater calamity.”

The Young Man and the Sage presents a similar theme throughout the book. Laolys, a reluctant politician, has been trained to appeal to the popular consensus all of his life (he was raised in a political family). Like most people who are faced with the decision to live a life centered on enlightenment rather than material gain, he must decide what is really important.

Stepping outside of the roles society hands down to us will provoke criticism from people who do not understand our motives. They may never understand. This is fine; it’s inevitable. We can’t please everyone. It is useless to try. We should focus instead, on what matters to us, and what benefits the whole.

Excerpt from The Young Man and the Sage:
“Tell me, what does someone who the world says nothing but good things about really have?”
“Well… I imagine a good, kind spirit.”
“Likely, but that is irrelevant. That person has everything to lose… (Favor will change.) … Everything changes. It’s easy to believe people when they say good things about us; it feels good. But then we become invested in what they say. We crave more of it, and when favor turns… as it always does… well, a person usually descends needlessly into an abyss of depression.”

To base our self-worth on the opinions of others is setting ourselves up for failure. This is a characteristic of an imbalanced Root Center. Working with exercises within this center, such as grounding, meditation, and personal reflection, can help us find our center.

Social media, with like counts and constant notifications, is designed to get us hooked on social approval. It feeds our brains like a drug, but it is ultimately bad for the spirit because it distracts us from what matters most: our own self-worth and ascension.

Do you struggle with the need for approval?
How do you overcome it?

[Author]

Posts